Preparing & Pausing

Hi, everybody!

I hope you guys are having a great week so far even though it’s Monday at 2:31 in the morning. 😊

I was browsing though some of my drafts that I’ve written for my blog and decided I should write another post because I totally am going to post all of these and never just hoard them. Yeah, no, I’m really bad at doing that.

In fact, I was recently reminded about how much I am a preparer for stuff and then I become a pauser.

I know I’ve talked about the fears that I have already, but there’s so much to fear because it becomes so ingrained into one’s personality, despite a person unknowingly knowing it’s become a part of their DNA.

I’ve always been this way, though. As a kid, I would spend a lot of time working and preparing something until it was perfect like a Barbie doll’s dance or dollhouse Christmas town. When the time came to actually play the game, as in have the Barbies actually go to the dance, I would default to a pause and observe state. I don’t know why, but I will chalk it up to my fears again. I struggled with participating with others in an activity because I could see how it would end. This was kind of a curse because all I wanted then, and all I really want now, is to participate. I want to be involved. I want to get my hands dirty and actually take action in my goals and dreams.

I know I’m not alone in those thoughts.

What do we do then?

For me, I pause…again.

I freeze.

I observe and realize that it’s not worth it or it’s going to involve me using a lot of energy to participate like everyone else.

When I first started my YouTube channel, this is what would have stopped me. But now, I’m aware of where I freeze and I’m trying to figure out the why. I’ve figured out there are three steps to my process, if you want to call it that.

First, come up with the idea and everything involved with it. Often called, research mode.

Second is prepare mode which entails me trying to get all my ducks in a row before identifying the lever that will start the machine.

Third…I freeze.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has faced this challenge before?

I think it’s also a commitment thing for me. I don’t want to get hurt and I want to know that something is sure and certain and solid before I put my feet over the edge.

But this is where faith comes in. I’m realizing more and more that faith, trust, and believing in God’s Presence is the basis on which I need to build anything in my life. I have always trusted the outcomes and what I can control, but that’s not what God wants us to do.

In fact, God wants us to lean on Him so much that when we take that step into the unknown, He’s the only One who can catch us.

Now, I’m not saying, “jump off a cliff!” (this is just an example, do not literally jump off a cliff-please don’t sue me!).

In this post, I’m saying, take that chance. Take the chance that the odds are stacked against you, but you feel God pulling you in that direction. I’ll talk more about life purposes and God’s direction in another post because it’s something I’ve always had to work through over the years, but for now, we’ll just keep talking about taking that step of faith.

In a lot of ways, creating my YouTube channel was the risk I never thought I would take. It was never in the cards for me- like, ever.

But God has a way of inspiring us and directing us in ways we can’t see coming, but can stretch us and grow us beyond what we can ever see.

I still do the same three steps I listed above, but I’ve added a couple more steps that have improved my abilities to trust God with the results.

Step four, stop.

Yeah, no, you read that right. After the pause, there’s a stop.

Stop and make sure you invited God in. I’m still learning this step and I feel like it will be a step that I will continually grow in over my life.

Step five, take a step. It can be small, it can be big, but please, take that step. My thoughts have always said, “what if ‘a, b, or c’ happens? Or what if this goes wrong? Or what if…?”

But the one “what if?” I have found I never ask myself is, “what if it works out?” Or better yet, “what if this is the step God wants me to take, but I’m allowing my fear to stop me?”

In these cases, my response is usually “I don’t want to live in fear!”

Pray and ask God for His guidance. God can’t direct you where to go if you’re not willing to leave your driveway, as the phrase goes. I believe an author I’ve read before said that and it’s really helped me put things in perspective.

The bottom line is that taking a risk, especially with a lot of fears, is always going to be part of God’s plan for your life. I don’t believe any one of the Bible characters were able to meet the destiny that God had planned for them without taking those necessary risks into a territory God had already walked before them.

It’s a risk for us, but an opportunity for God to work in our lives. While God is always working in our lives, there are big and little things that He does throughout our days that will be a part of who God is creating us to be. This includes taking that risk into the unknown.

Taking God’s hand is taking that risk. Pray and keep walking with God and trust His plans for you.

Have a great week! :)

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