Letting go is always difficult, but so is holding onto the past

Hi, everyone!

Sometimes I make smart decisions and sometimes I do something that makes sense.

In this case, I’m suffering from a severe case of “don’t do what I’m doing” and it’s gotten me pretty discouraged.

Now, this post isn’t about discouragement mostly because I’ve already written about that and made a video on it. I don’t want to rest in that discouragement.

Instead, I want to focus on what this choice is that I made and how this choice is impacting my life. To keep everything as vague as possible because I still think this decision I made was a good one and it’s nobody’s real fault it’s not working out despite good efforts, but I want to establish this idea that my choice has not been what I expected.

We’ve all been there probably. You want to do something, you research and take into consideration goals that are linked to it, and you consult the right people who can help you make the decision.

And everything runs green flags.

No hiccups, no problems, no hesitations, only advisement, prayers, and what looks like God’s blessing.

Then, it hits.

Almost everything comes out of the wood work right before this big thing happens related to a decision you made and you’re trying to make sense of everything and stay afloat. You grab hold of the opportunity that you thought would be one thing, when in reality, it’s the lifeline that God uses to save you from yourself.

I hope I’m not alone in this experience.

Ever since the seasons of my life have changed, I’ve realized that an opportunity that I had to publish my writing is now falling like dust through my fingers.

It didn’t serve the purpose I thought it would.

Instead, I found that this writing opportunity is putting me in more financial trouble (at least right now) and people in my life are concerned about how this writing opportunity is squelching my dreams of being an author.

But the truth is, I have a more defined writing path than I did before. Trying to follow this writing opportunity is causing me problems in terms of restricting my writing capabilities and not taking into account that which I care about in order to bow to standards that

I’m being overlooked.

I’m thankful that I’ve been through this stuff before in different areas of my life because I can be the Guinea pig so no one else has to.

But what if my writing dreams?

I’m sure you’ve probably asked that of yourself, too.

What if my dream? What of something you care about?

I’m learning more and more that God does take us on detours in life because He does know best.

While I don’t have a published book in my hands and I don’t have a contract with the promise of having my writing reaching millions of people, what I do have is my family, my writing, my (sorely tested) dreams, my blog and YouTube channel, you guys, and God.

And while I’m overwhelmed by the holes in which I find myself in, I also know that I’m not ready to call it quits because my writing means so much to me and you guys mean so much to me. I know everything I have right now is really small, but I’m excited to see what grows from these seeds I’m planting and I pray that God uses everything I’m trying to build here to help someone else out there who might be feeling the same way I do right now as I sit here and write this post.

Thanks for reading!

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